Brainstorming until figuratively blue in the gills...,
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and finally gung-ho with a poem title
important to yours truly
not disappointing his Facebook fan base,
which electronic affirmation,
and confirmation, breeds gratification
analogous to being
the proud papa begetting offspring
progeny growing up at breakneck speed
spurring me to rub my eyes
as if experiencing hallucination,
and thanks be to thee unknown readers,
whose familiar and recognizable namesakes
fuel an impetus to slave away
past the bewitching hour.
A cup of first press high test Joe
(courtesy the missus)
this late hour crucial and vital
to trigger genesis of writing idea
though nary a handy dandy blues clue
what the following endeavor will entail,
whereby thought processes
whipsawed across a gamut
of enigmatic basic questions
most likely similar queries pondered
when proto humans
first learned or evolved
to stand erect,
where genitalia subsequently visible
in plain sight front and center,
and most likely the males
who sported the biggest schmeckle
(id est - gifted with endowment
where phallic gonad concerned)
inadvertently, impeccably, and invariably
wowed an equally
well proportioned barenaked lady,
thus setting into motion Barbie craze physique,
which became commercialized,
idolized, popularized, et cetera
March ninth, nineteen fifty nine
millions of countless generations before
yours or mine Bubbeh's
Zayde's, Bubbeh's Zayde's,
Bubbeh's Zayde's et cetera
until the beginning of time.
I would not have been bestowed
(but rather disadvantaged)
with any redeeming physical advantages,
what with my gangly, measly,
and scrawny body and probably
screaming bloody murder
left to die lest drawing enemies woke
fee fie foe fum... in bespoke guttural
(necessitating traditional healer
cum doula cum witch doctor
to toss out baby with the bathwater
autochthonous eventually
giving rise to naturopathic doctor (ND),
as they practiced a system of medicine
that incorporated natural therapies
and holistic measures
ofttimes deemed cruel approaches,
by standards of twenty first century
often distinct from conventional Western medicine
and quickly dispensed
with "good riddance to that cry baby"
then lionized by salivating king of the jungle,
when yours truly just days old as a newborn,
but bully me that would have saved
a lifetime of trauma courtesy
those foo fighting beastie boys
who trumpeted characteristics
topped off with natural carrot top
donned windblown handy dandy raked pompadour
which heady hirsute provided extra bonus
added insouciant aura at the onset of drama
bequeathed most robust
short, nasty and brutish Homo sapiens,
(who would still be considered pygmies
among land of the giants
(even yours truly feels dwarfed)
by standard of modern man/woman
stood head and shoulders
among the madding crowd)
as no specimen to tangle
cuz they were counted, gifted, and linkedin
among those who met,
(and checked off survival of the fittest box)
bolstering triumph amidst adversity
criteria inheriting salient qualities
namely who at birth evinced potential
to become a Sumo wrestler,
who when population density
increased implemented deportation
way before MAGA onset
towards those (though necessary
for grunt work) evinced
stark ape parent
visible primate characteristics
substantiating Darwinian theory of evolution
in tandem with origin of species
predicated new species
come from preexisting species,
and that all species share a common ancestor.
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