Gotcha! Once respectable haute cuisine thief Sue She...,

Gotcha! Once respectable haute cuisine thief Sue She...,
a septuagenarian renown for his trademark prank
to steal himself into a neighboring house,
and prepare an elaborate meal
unsuspectedly nabbed gorging
(ala man versus food
Adam Montgomery Richman fame
Brooklyn, New York boy)
at an undisclosed location.

When asked why
he left figurative bread crumbs
to the very doorstep of his demise
with a mouth full of food he replied
inarticulately sounding muffled,
with indistinct words
a lot of slurring
and sometimes even gurgling noises.

Always on the lookout
for new breakout theatrical talent
similar to scouts who work
across the United States,
Canada, and Puerto Rico
hunting for outstanding
gifted potential sports marvels/protegies
recruiters from various and sundry acting guilds
globe trot and zero in
on a person whose behavior
draws newsworthy attention
(perhaps to distract the public at large
to the demise of democracy
not just in American,
but a global lurge politically rightward)
presents innovative approaches to attain an objective
catches the eye of one practiced
pinpointing a money magnet.

The media drama linkedin to act of stealth
(though an inconvenience
for unsuspecting victims)
and hidden bona fides
promising positive pursuit
with proper guidance and discipline
respective negligent and criminal intruder
holds the promise
to make hand over fist moolah,
but initially said raw
(green around the gills)
unpracticed mischief maker
will be obliged to compensate
all the places and people he burgled
after he makes a name for himself,
which sudden instance
being shot to fame
does trigger copy cats,
which emulators of the original impractical joker
lack that spunky je nais sais quois,
(the only French phrase known to me)
extemporaneity, spontaneity, notoriety,
and last but not least piety
toward buttressing diversity, equality
and inclusion, thus as an
unspoken/written rule,
these innocuous dressed head hunters
of source material must not be Russian
when they Chekov
favorable qualities in a candidate
of no particular age, breed, creed,
dogma, ethnicity, gender affiliation,
nationality, physique,
race, religion, et cetera.

Lemme include you in on a little secret
(don't you telling nobody),
that yours truly (me)
happens to be sitting
within a nondescript apartment
in a little town that time forgot
and the years could not improve;
one time like when I posted to Facebook,
an unexpected countless
number of young gorgeous female respondents
(exhibited an electronic like
and untrammeled love
toward many former zany
home pages of mine
and other sundry postings –
and offered marriage sight unseen),
and by dint of instantaneously
brought down Meta -
the mysterious explanation
being overloaded three ringed circuits,
whereat Mark Zuckerberg (of all people)
requested all expenses paid trip
to be held within
the outer limits of the twilight zone -
he would fly a private jet,
where dark shadows
evoke the edge of night scenario,
a contrived atmosphere
to lend an opportunity
for each of us to portray
our favor character dramatis personae,
which stunning portrayal
of xyz - more convincing
than the original actor himself
simultaneously launched multiple opportunities
essentially catapulting one former
long haired pencil necked geek
while idling away time engaged
in my favorite pastime re:fabricating
and additionally to reminisce
about those days being a bachelor
Norwegian farmer
during his emerging adulthood,
which spanned the last
thirty plus years of mein kampf.