Poem -

The broken piggy bank

The broken piggy bank

strewn into a bajillion little pieces

Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the missus, this wordsmith notates
unwittingly linkedin to his misfortune,
a situation he hates,
especially, an unavoidable crisis,
whereby passage of time abates
negligible onus of penury.

Soon after surrendering
(viz laundering) cash to bitcoin
immediately realized sinister trap
scammer prepared me to enjoin
egregious outcome surpassing
severe case of acne
treatment courtesy isotretinoin.

My ordinarily clear complexion turned wan
imprecation triggered suicidal ideation
overdosing on medication
escape from absolute zero
vanished capital pennilessness bondage
welcoming self induced mortality did spawn.

Though weeks elapsed
since scammer
(smoked top of line cigars,
and/or quaffed vintage
amber liquid of the gods
signaling snagging a poor sucker)
made out like a bandit,
the squandered money
I still bemoan,
a grown man doth still groan
moroseness seeps
within his lovely bones
witnessing him curling
into fetal position versus lying prone
forever and anon envisioning himself
cast into the outer limits
of the twilight zone.

As a fool hardy way
to assuage loss,
where illusions of grandeur stray,
I regularly purchase lottery tickets
either Mega Million or Powerball
imagining being the lucky winner
then livingsocial
as a bachelor farmer in Norway
chomping down a delicious plateful
of powder milk biscuits
after countless hours pitching hay
while custom made robot named Barbie
adeptly programmed to prepare
Lefse, Krumkake, Lutefisk,
and Raspeball/Komle/Klubb,
she also doubles up as the abbé
of my fortress domicile.

Ha... an overactive imagination to boot
healthy escape from the maws of destitution
nevertheless, one old baby boomer coot,
who can prevaricate
knowing full well nobody
(especially the folks
from Lake Wobegon) cannot dispute
these marvelous turns of phrases I execute
while listening to The Magic Flute
an opera in two acts
by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
to a German libretto

by Emanuel Schikaneder
and of course after wolfing down
Norwegian cuisine listed above,
I will need (sorry to be cheeky) exercise
thy well endowed glute
(short for gluteus muscles)
a group of muscles
that make up the buttock area,
which group consists
of the gluteus maximus,
gluteus medius, and gluteus minimus.

Like 0 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.
Poem -

Aspiration towards elusive...

Aspiration towards elusive apotheosis of enlightenment...

analogous to where
the fountainhead of knowledge
gushes forth unstoppable
as a result...

Poem -

After the wife made a...

After the wife made a suggestion about what to write about...

I decided to title my piece
a concatenation of a few different notions
incorporating...

Poem -

Harried Harris heir still...

Harried Harris heir still feels horrid courtesy heist he doth declare...

Earlier this merry month of May
a goniff who possibly did gossip
about his/her surreptitious...

Latest poems in Comedy, Drama, Elegy, Epic, Freestyle

Poem -

the story we wrote

Feels like it's all been for nothing
I hate that you don't get to stay
To think I thought I...

Poem -

COSMOFUNNEL

COSMOFUNNEL

It's been over ten years on cosmofunnel for me. Writing my thoughts and my past. Holding my pen, engaging...

Poem -

Binoculars

Binoculars

Goodbyes are only for those
who cannot see past their nose
because goodbyes don't exist...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com