Comedy

Relieved of fatherhood Saint
Nick schtick found me
to relinquish ratty outfit, and stow away...

Last year, the Grinch stole the presents and my Christmas tree.
This year I'm making that green...

Posing As Dystopian Rant

This prognosticator doth predict
potential based at current rate...

The British nation must be a nation of plonkers
Standing hours to pay for Christmas food we must be...

Have you peeled a potato before ?
Standing for hours on a kitchen floor
Surely there must be...

Eating a bowl of Post Shredded Wheat
Is like eating big clumps of dead grass
Now I know why...

After posting it, I discovered some typos so here is the latest version

fake food part one
...

last of my fake food rants for today

Fake Beer

Nowadays
When you order a beer...

more fake food poems

Fake Bread

Nowadays
Most of the time

I eat fake bread...

Fake Food

in this world of fake things
Nothing is more fake
Than the food we eat...

Most children want toys for Christmas but I wanted revenge.
Santa put me on his naughty list and...

I asked my girlfriend what she wants for Christmas
And she said all she wants for Christmas is me...

Bud Weiser and Stella Artois went for a drink
It's not as crazy as some might think
Both on...

This little poem is of Terry Derry
At Christmas time he had a glass of sherry
One glass of...

As always when in the initial throes
of writing what I strive to concoct viz
pièce de ré·sis·...

Like a statue he doesn't move
What is it he's trying to prove?
Being so still not making a...

Aite aite
I can not lie
​​​I love tha way you tote pipe