Funny

I pretend to be a tough guy but that's just an act.
I'm the world's biggest coward and that's a fact...

I had good reason to run.
A man pulled out his gun.
He was a shithead and I wouldn't take his...

I'm your best man and what I'm going to say may start a fight.
But your intended has a lot of nerve...

Something happened and I'm appalled.
My wife left me because I'm going bald.
It just goes to...

From school days I can still recall the taste
Gooy and sticky certainly too good to waste
...

I made a mistake when I asked the wrong lady for a date.
I never knew that a man could end up...

I'm an ex-prizefighter and my name is Glass Joe.
If you're wondering if I could win fights, the...

When I told my wife that her dad bought the farm, she thought he died.
But he actually bought a farm...

My wife is extremely bad at playing the violin.
I hope that I go deaf and can never hear again....

She flew to the Cuckoos nest coz she thought that he would be there

But alas he had ran away and...

I remember in the first days
When I was still in my old ways
A new sensation I'd never felt...

Amber and Serina

Well a car pulls up, motor turns off,
car doors slam, engine coughs....

I'm sorry to say that I have a houseguest.
The asshole is a troublemaker and a pest.
He...

There is a place not that is not far away or as close as can be

Called ‘Nowhere land’ where it...

She started to knit a sock with a green ball of wool..

...Knit one row...purl another.. .unwinding...

Used car salesmen make good Congressmen because they're both crooks.
I own a used car lot and if you...