Funny

Aunt Bee's feelings were hurt on her birthday and she caused quite a racket.
She cried and cussed on...

I'm Lacy Warfield and I'm different than the rest of the people of the Human Race.
I'm the only...

As the rain falls down
On this deserted town
Covers the streets and roads
...

I was so scared that my hair turned gray.
All because I wore white after Labor Day.
I was so...

I can't overlook what you did because it was an incredibly stupid thing to do.
You wanted a batch of...

Joan of Arc
Spoke to Mark
Had a lark
In a park

Nine months went...

Parts of the body seem to come in twos
Why should this be I'm looking for clues
...

You will never believe what I saw the other day
Believe me it's true and definitely not hearsay...

When you asked how much money that I have in the bank, $100,000 is the amount.
We got married last...

This is the day that I sure have been dreading.
I'm in a church and this is a shotgun wedding....

He always showed up to help people who were in danger.
But I was too smart and I shot and killed The...

When Luke Skywalker visited our planet and my restaurant, he died.
Chewbacca and Leia were furious...

I pretend to be a tough guy but that's just an act.
I'm the world's biggest coward and that's a fact...

I had good reason to run.
A man pulled out his gun.
He was a shithead and I wouldn't take his...

I'm your best man and what I'm going to say may start a fight.
But your intended has a lot of nerve...

Something happened and I'm appalled.
My wife left me because I'm going bald.
It just goes to...

From school days I can still recall the taste
Gooy and sticky certainly too good to waste
...