Comedy

"THERE WILL BE NONE FOR YOU
& THERE WILL BE NONE FOR HIM
BECAUSE JESUS, OWNS ALL OF MY...

I am Dr. Mario and you bow down to me! Look at my convincing skinny body (with green pigment, claws and)...

When you quit smoking, you always go cold turkey and you become very mean.
Every time you try to...

" I AM NOT A TURKEY
I,LL TELL; YOU NO LIES
I,M JUST A SPRING CHICKEN
JUST WEARING A...

Mary had a date with the little boy who lived in a shoe.

"Deodorant. Yes, that's what I'll bring...

" HEY GIRLS

HOW ABOUT THAT

FOR SOME LUCK?

OH BOLLOCKS

ITS ONLY AN

...

" WHO IS IT SAID, THAT ROMANCE IS DEAD?
BECAUSE YOU KEEP BANGING ME HEAD
IN YOUR HASTE TO GET...

I bought an electric blanket and wound up nearly dead.
I got electrocuted two months ago when I wet...

"IT IS NOW, "HAPPY HOUR"
& YOU, MY HAPPY LITTLE FLOWER
WILL BE GETTING A GOLDEN SHOWER...

Every night you'll find me sat upon me lazy arse', going thru' me datin' sites 'case 'sum bloke's made a...

HOLD STILL AERIAL, LETS GET THOSE TITTIES CLEAN
& EVERYWHERE ELSE THAT IS IN BETWEEN
YOU,...

TODAY, IT IS NEW YEARS DAY
NURSING A THUMPING HEADACHE...HEY?
THROWN ALL YOUR CARES AWAY?...

" Enuf!" I declare, of this sloppy ol" mush, you'll soon "ave me cryin" in me raspberry slush,

I"ll...

" PLEASE PINOCCHIO, TELL ME ANOTHER FIB
TELL ME A LIE ALL ABOUT WOMENS LIB
I PROMISE I WONT...

I'd like to send a special plea,
to ask that Santa's gift to me,
is tall and dark and...

TODAY...IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE
NO CHANCE NOW, OF A REPRIEVE
THE KIDS ALL EXCITED & WAITING...

Sleepless nights on the couch.
Please I swear,
To behave myself,
So open the doghouse...