Humor

Now that I’m pushing eighty, my body’s been rearranged;
What once was my heart’s main supplier, now...

I have loaned plenty of money to people because I'm a loan shark.
But I've never been repaid because...

About to
publish another
book

My mother
has informed
me
though...

Aunt Bee's feelings were hurt on her birthday and she caused quite a racket.
She cried and cussed on...

Fred wouldn't give Scooby-Doo a Scooby snack and Scooby sank his teeth into Fred's balls.
That made...

Wherever my neighbor goes, people stare,
They can't look away because of his neck and pink hair....

My wife and I visited England and I can't believe what I did.
She wanted to go shopping and I gave...

When people hear my name, they feel sick and want to puke.
I starred in Rocky V and my name is...

You last made love to your wife two years ago and you and she have a ten month old baby.
When I say...

I'm Lacy Warfield and I'm different than the rest of the people of the Human Race.
I'm the only...

I can't overlook what you did because it was an incredibly stupid thing to do.
You wanted a batch of...

When you asked how much money that I have in the bank, $100,000 is the amount.
We got married last...

This is the day that I sure have been dreading.
I'm in a church and this is a shotgun wedding....

Harvard said no
Like many others

Hell Arizona state
Said they would
Have to...

He always showed up to help people who were in danger.
But I was too smart and I shot and killed The...

When Luke Skywalker visited our planet and my restaurant, he died.
Chewbacca and Leia were furious...

I pretend to be a tough guy but that's just an act.
I'm the world's biggest coward and that's a fact...